How the hell do I get home?
Well, I am on a kick. What kind of kick you ask? I'm on the whole inspired, get my shit together and make the most of of my time kick.
This isn't new to me, I've been here many times. And many times I let life and all that comes with it get in the way and take me back to where I was. So how can I break this pattern and really make the changes I have been trying to make for years? How do I find my way "home."
Luckily, I don't mean "home" as in my house. The kids have not completely fried my brain cells and I can still remember how to drive back to my house. The home I am referring to is my true self. I am not looking for a new Michelle - I actually have learned to love this Michelle. Instead I am looking to return to my true self without the pressures of society, motherhood, marriage, work, expectations, etc..
To be honest, it is definitely a scary journey for me because I am not even sure if I ever knew the original Michelle before life carved away at her. But to begin this journey, I need to take baby steps. And if I am inspired to use my time more wisely (social media has drained me) then I am going to run with it.
My first step toward getting my shit together and finding my way home is my morning routine. No more staying in bed and wasting my time on social media. I plan to read and meditate before everyone wakes up. I might only read two pages and only meditate for two minutes but let's just be honest, that is a win for me.
I hope to share this journey with you and maybe inspire and support each other on this road. I would love to hear about your journey home and what steps you took to begin and continue on your path. Let's get it.
Lots of love,
The topic of courage has been appearing randomly throughout my day for a couple of weeks. I have been dealing with low confidence in a few areas of my life by doubting my ability, my knowledge, my intuition and my experience. It took me a while to realize this feeling of low confidence is actually just full on fear.
But courage is not about never experiencing fear. Courage is being aware of our fear or the challenges ahead and facing them anyway. Unfortunately, our society doesn't encourage people to openly speak about their fear. We were taught that telling our friends or family that we are scared of something shows weakness and vulnerability. But this is far from the truth. We all experience fear and that emotion does not make us less of a person.
Over the years I have been able to looked passed society's label on fear and instead begin to see it for more than weakness. I now see it as a chance to grow. In my case, I am scared of putting myself out there as a Buti Yoga instructor and a Vinyasa yoga instructor. I have been working very hard not to run away when fear sets in but things are becoming more challenging for me as more opportunities come my way.
So I felt it was time to examine what really is going on and how can I apply courage to get passed this fear.
Here is what I came up with :
1. What it is that I am actually scared of?
Failure? Embarrassment? Harsh criticism? Everyone else is better? Showing my truth to the world?
Some of these fears might sound like your own as well, and unfortunately the list can keep going. But bringing awareness to your actual fear will help you to overcome it. Again, you are not the only scared person in this world. But you are the only person who can make change in your life.
2. Know failure is learning.
The fear of failure is a big for me and this idea has been a huge help. Life is all about learning, so why isn't failure just another opportunity to learn? Failing isn't as big of a deal as we have labeled it, so let's get over it shall we? I can get really cheesy and remind you of all the times Edison failed before he found a successful light bulb. And I can get even cheesier by reminding you of the courage he had to keep trying when everyone said it wouldn't work.
Don't view failing as the end of your story, instead view failing as the dramatic climax to an amazing conclusion.
3. Show yourself you are capable of anything, including conquering your fear.
When challenges come my way, I remind myself of the times I "knew" I couldn't do something but ended up crushing that shit instead. I have seen that scenario a lot on my yoga mat and then slowly trickle off the mat as well. You are absolutely capable of anything, you just have to remind yourself from time to time.
4. Focus on the outcome
Don't focus on the fear. Focus on what it is that you want to achieve. Does giving a presentation in front of your entire company scare you? Sure it does! But don't focus on fear, instead focus on the possible promotion or impact you will make by giving your presentation. By focusing on your end game, you keep a much clearer perspective of the bigger picture. Sometimes seeing the bigger picture makes your fear seem kind of silly. ;)
5. Think of what treasures you are keeping hidden if you do not find the courage to share them.
News Flash: You're a badass. You have amazing gifts and talents inside you that the world and everyone in it can benefit from. Think of all of the amazing minds in our lifetime and what our world would be like if they were too scared to share their ideas. Like the person who invented the Roomba automatic vacuum cleaner. My life is so much better because that person decided to face their fears and share their knowledge. And for that I am eternally grateful (and so is my house).
You too have treasures to share with the world. Don't let fear keep your gifts hidden and buried.
Now I wish these five little points can make all the fear go away and the challenges easier, but that's not how it works. But I do hope these reminders can stick with you when you think of running from an opportunity that scares you. I hope you remember your fear is nothing compared to not allowing yourself to reach your full potential - that idea is absolutely terrifying.
Lots of love,
Christmas and the kids....
Each year I start my Christmas shopping/prepping early. I'm talking like August early!! I start gathering little stocking stuffers I find on sale as well as clothes, toys, games, etc. It legit takes me months to get my shit together for Christmas!
Plus, when my daughter was younger, I thought making an Advent Calendar was a great idea! Of course that was back when I had extra time to actually make one myself (yea.. I can sew.. who would've thought)! Well, now that damn Advent Calendar stresses me out. haha
Each day in December we either do a Christmas related activity, open a Christmas related present (xmas pjs, movies, books, etc), donate toys/clothes, or anything I can come up with. It takes a lot of prep and pre-planning but the kids love it, so I will stick with it.
Then it comes to toys. We are fortunate enough to have lots of family that want to gift our children with presents. But I am that mean mom that doesn't just want "stuff" for my kids. I am all about experiences over "crap" that only gets played with once but I will trip over at least a hundred times.
Luckily I am not the only one with the mean mom syndrome and lots of bloggers have created great lists of non toy items to get kids for Christmas (check Pinterest for sure). Again, I like experiences. So we ask for money for camps, tickets to plays/shows, mini photo shoots (my nine year old loves to be in front of the camera), or even gift cards to our favorite local museums or zoo.
Don't get me wrong, we still do toys. But we are trying to teach our kids that more "stuff" does not equal happiness.
Do you have any good non toy gift ideas that your family loves? We would love to continue to build on this concept each year and are always open to new ideas!
Happy Holidays everyone!
I have always thought of myself as a healthy eater. Well, except for college. ;)
I have since told myself the lack of soda and junk food in the house with only a handful of stops at the drive through made me healthy. But it was really just a starting point.
My husband has always said getting fit is 70% what you eat and 30% exercise. And because my diet wasn't the best and I was a very active person, I did not listen to him. But don't feel bad for him, he is used to it.
My diet was pretty much whatever I thought was healthy. But did this mean more vegetable and less chocolate? Absolutely not. I ate meat, grains, dairy, carbs and then sweets to "reward myself" for a rough day. I really just assumed that staying active would keep me healthy and fit. But I was wrong (no need to tell my husband I said that).
Flash forward to finding Buti Yoga and starting my journey of eating grain free and dairy free (basically paleo). Because my husband has a gluten allergy, we really don't have a lot of breads and such in our home, Which made cutting grains somewhat easy (although I did dream of bread floating in the sky one night).
Then came cutting out dairy. I have pretty much had a glass of milk at every meal my entire life. I loved it. And cheese, oh man. A meal was not finished until I added cheese. So when it came to cutting dairy I was a bit terrified. But somehow, I prevailed! I was able to switch cheese with some other topping that added to the flavor of the meal. And thankfully, no one was hurt in my transition.
In the first two weeks of my new paleo lifestyle, my body changed immensely. I leaned up so quickly I couldn't believe it. I have always rocked "thunder thighs" and they quickly became sculpted and stronger. I have always had a flat stomach but now I am seeing definition and actual abdominal muscles! Freaking craziness I tell you!
I kept up being paleo for a few months (with one cheat meal a week) but today I am not as strict. I try to avoid grains and dairy if possible, but sometimes life and my crazy schedule gets in the way.
And now my focus is shifting again. Paleo is inspiring me to eat even cleaner than before, but it is a very high fat diet. Which I don't mind as it works for my body, but I need to be conscious of my veggie intake. Because it sucks. So ten points for me for getting creative in the kitchen and trying new recipes to include more vegetables.
I love that my grocery cart is now filled with more fresh produce than boxed foods. I love that my meals are becoming "one bowl wonders" to throw in as many veggies as possible. And I love that I love it!! One of my favorite discoveries was the veggie spiral fun. I can come home late from teaching and spiral a zucchini into the skillet with leftover chicken and veggies to make a quick, healthy meal. And it makes me feel fancy. ;)
So cheers to throwing more veggies into the mix and continuing to eat more consciously and healthy. And with any luck, my kids will actually eat something green too.
Eat better! You're totally worth it!
If you've been hanging with me for a while then you have heard of Buti Yoga. You may have even seen some videos and pictures on my social media pages. So what the hell have I gotten myself into and why won't I stop talking about it?
I kind of asked myself the same question. ;) And the answer is Buti Bliss <3
The physical practice of Buti Yoga is combining dynamic yoga, plyometrics and cardio. Each aspect of Buti Yoga encourages the practitioner to allow their raw, true self to come through and leave expectation behind. Many find Buti Yoga to be unlike anything they have every experienced or practiced, which often leads them to feel vulnerable and exposed.
Buti Yoga invites you to strip off the layers and find your core sense of self. And the beautiful thing about the Buti community is the lack of judgement during our transformation. The Buti Tribe is all about empowering, supporting and loving each other.
So what are some of the movements you would find in a Buti Yoga class? One of my favorite movements is the Spiral Structure Technique, which is the funnest core work I have ever done. This spiraling technique works your entire core and can even help moms with diastasis recti safely find their core strength again. More core work is included in class with movements like pelvic tilts (NOT twerking) and hip movement. These are amazing ways to isolate and strengthen the obliques and transverse abdominis.
You will also find cardio sessions during class that simulate a HIIT workout. What makes Buti Yoga unique is the focus on tapping into our primal movements and focusing on our Shakti or feminine energy. In today's world we are seated and still for much longer periods of time than our ancestors. And the result has been more disease, injuries and a lack of authentic connection to ourselves. Buti Yoga invites you to once again find movements in your body to release negativity and gain freedom.
Trying to explain Buti Yoga on paper is very difficult and can never truly illustrate the amazing practice. The best way to find out what the hype is about is to attend a class. If you are fortunate enough to have a live class near you then get there ASAP. If not, then check out a few free classes online to get you started.
If you're close to Longmont, CO then check out my Buti Yoga schedule below. If you are looking for a class near you, the Buti Yoga website has a list of current classes. And as always, if you have any questions then please let me know!
Enjoy that Buti Yoga Bliss!
If you told me in college that I would become a practicing yogini and a certified yoga instructor, I would've spit my beer in your face with the loudest laugh imaginable. But life likes to lead us on a much different path than we would've thought of for ourselves, and often its a much better scenario than our own.
I have been teaching for a few years now and each day I find gratitude for the practice of yoga and the opportunity to share it with others. I have always loved teaching and helping people become aware of the best version of themselves. And yoga has definitely helped me to do so.
But what I didn't realized when becoming a yoga teacher was that it wasn't all about teaching yoga. I quickly learned there is a business side to teaching yoga and one that you cannot ignore even if you teach one weekly class. On top of continuing to grow your own physical and spiritual yoga practice to provide your yoga students with a rewarding yoga class, you must become familiar with the behind the scenes paperwork.
I have struggled to find the balance of instruction and business in my teaching career. Juggling the many roles I play often leaves something unattended or left behind. Sometimes it is my own self-study, my physical practice, making playlists, answering emails or marketing my classes.
Luckily for us, the internet can help us stay on top of the many tasks we have as teachers to keep our to-do lists in check. Their are many websites, articles, online yoga communities and even apps to help keep your yoga teaching career organized. So what are these online resources I speak of? Great question ;)
Check out my latest article with YogiApproved.com Best Online Resources for Yoga Teachers - Your Complete Guide for some online resources to help you make the most of your time for yourself and your students.
**If you know of any other online resources that have really helped you, please share in the comments below!!
It was a gorgeous day (as they often start out to be). My family was in town and we were excited to go on a hike to hang with Mother Nature.
We reached our destination and soaked up the gorgeous scenery in the Rocky Mountain National Park. We hiked up to check out some falls and ended up climbing down a trail to sit alongside a small waterfall. It was beautiful of course. And I get all giddy and happy when I am near water.
So apparently my coffee kicked in and I began climbing and hopping on rocks to further my way into the river.
Then I heard it . . . PLOP.
My heart stopped beating and I thought my life was over.
My phone slipped out of my backpack and into the water next to a big rock. I ran to see if my phone somehow began to make its way downstream but quickly learned it was taking a long and luscious bath in the fresh, cool mountain water.
Luckily my dad reached below the rock and rescued my little friend which allowed my heart to start beating again. I tried my best not to freak out. I tried my best not to think of all of the data, pictures and communications I would no longer have with a soaking wet and broken phone. And I tried my best not to let it ruin the beautiful day.
Once we made it back down the hike and out of the Park, I stopped and got a bag of rice. And there my phone lived for two days.
Two days I did not have phone.
I was honestly expecting to start twitching, pacing around my house with a lost sense of direction and to completely lose my mind. But I kept it together! And it was actually kind of nice! It did help that my parents were in town and I had access to a phone for emergencies (or directions lol).
I've heard of ppl taking a "digital detox" for a couple days just to step away and reset from it all. Which I think I might begin to do more often. I was bummed about missing some pictures or videos of the kids, but it was also nice to just enjoy the moments and memories besides scrambling for the perfect shot.
Lesson learned: I am going to detox from my phone more often. :) Nothing terrible happened. Life went on. And a phone wasn't needed to enjoy the day. <3
I vividly remember the first time I saw a picture of One-Legged King Pigeon Pose in its full expression. My mind could not comprehend how in the world someone could do that! So I (of course) jumped on my yoga mat and gave an immediate go at it. But I quickly discovered my body could not comprehend the pose either.
I am not a naturally bendy person and it has taken me years to find progression in my back bending practice. So I told myself OLKP Pose was way out of reach.
But I was wrong.
This posture is not ALL about being bendy. In fact, I found my backbend wasn't the main focus of this pose! So I began incorporating poses into my practice to help open my hips, quads, shoulders and thoracic spine to help my journey toward OLKP Pose. And it worked!
The first time I flipped my grip was with the aid of a yoga strap and my shoulders were freaking out with this foreign movement. But my body still felt great so I continued to practice. And with persistence and patience I made my way to the full expression of OLKP Pose without the use of a strap. I was shocked!
Progression is a great motivator for me so I kept practicing the same sequence that led me to this breakthrough.
If you are interested in trying this sequence in your own practice, check it out here.
My yoga practice constantly amazes, and teaches me and I am so grateful for my journey. I once thought my body would not be capable of OLKP Pose, but man was it amazing to prove myself wrong.
For some reason, I like to pretend I am not busy and I have all the time in the world. I like to stay up late and plan would be events and come up with different ideas. Then of course I will obsess over every single detail until I complete the task or a bigger idea comes along.
I have made the mistake of wearing many different hats and taking on too much in my life before. But luckily I learned a valuable lesson and now make more time for my family.
But the brain is still working overtime and I cannot get some of these ideas out of my head. I have taken baby steps in making one plan come to light just to see if the Universe thinks its a good idea. So far things are moving forward. EEeek! But we will see.
Am I the only one who is constantly scheming? I don't consider myself a workaholic, I definitely like to binge watch Netflix on Sundays if I can! But I feel like I am always looking ahead and trying to create something.
And then the guilt creeps in. Why am I not grateful for everything I have and all of the awesome opportunities that have come my way? Why can't I just settle down and find gratitude? Because I am not wired that way. And that is that. :)
So cheers to any of my fellow dreamers. If you're up for margaritas and schemes give me a call! ;)
I was a little shocked and bummed that I never heard of diastasis recti or ab separation until after my babies were born. Both pregnancies and birth plans were very different. The first took a more medical approach and the second took a more holistic approach. But neither prepared me or warned me about diastasis recti.
I was an active yogi during my second pregnancy - still practicing inversions and arm balances and I was aware that core work was off limits. But what I didn't know was the damage I could do by not being more careful and aware of my changing mom bod.
I had no idea that I could play a huge role in separating my abdominals and damaging my core.
After my second was born, I noticed when I leaned back and engaged my core that my stomach looked odd but I didn't think anything of it. It wasn't until I did my Buti Yoga certification that I heard of diastasis recti from my instructor. She explained her story and then in all made sense.
Holy shit! How did I not know about this! And come to find out... most of my mom friends were not aware of this either!
So I did my research and wrote a little diddi for YogiApproved.com to help mamas become more aware of diastasis recti and how to treat it.
Check out my two articles below.
Diastasis Recti - How to Avoid Ab Separation and How to Heal
Diastasis Recti Recovery: 10 Yoga Poses + Tips to Help New Moms Heal
When Everything Aligns
We have lived in ColoRADo for two years now. Love it. Husband's job is going well, the kids are growing and flourishing and I am loving teaching yoga out here.
But deep down, I knew I wanted something else. What that was? I had no clue. I just knew I wanted to be part of something big, something yoga related and where I could still be of service to others.
I started meeting other yogis in Denver where I worked with the Friday Night Yoga Club. I met some fantastic folks and love the yoga scene here. When spring rolled around and we all took our yoga outside to Yoga Rocks the Park, a fantastic yogi I was working with texted me that she gave my contact info to YogiApproved.com.
I wasn't sure what the gig was, I was just thinking a contributing writer but excited. Later I found out it was an internship as an Editor for the online publication! Say what!!!!!
Now, it has been many, many moons since I have been in the editing/writing world and I was having some major doubts about my abilities. I immediately went to the library and got a stack of editing books!!! I then texted Anna (my amazing side kick who is a PR wiz) asking if she thought I was up for the job. She knows my writing and if I can cut it.... She said go for it! Which I love her for, muah!
After meeting with YogiApproved and waiting a couple days, I received the phone call that I got the interneship! So excited. This was it. This is what I have been unknowingly searching for. From there, things just started to fall into place, it was magical.
Since moving to CO, my biggest hurdle has been childcare. I have missed many opportunities because we were unable to hire a sitter, and no one but family has ever watched my kids! I wasn't ready to go that direction.
Before I became part of the YogiApproved tribe, a babysitter suddenly appeared and we were financially able to hire her! She is great and the kids love her! This pattern continued.
Obstacles that have been around since we have lived here began to shift. Opportunities arose and I was able to make it work. I couldn't believe it. I have never had something so clearly labeled for me!
Here is your path, take it.
Make it Yours
What is a yoga practice? Is there a right or wrong way to practice yoga? There are so many teachers, styles, lineages and books how do I know which is the correct way?
The best answer I have for you is... practice! Yoga means something different to each and every person. We all arrive on our mat with a different goal, motivation, emotional state, spiritual journey, struggle and need. Plus, all of that changes each day! Unrolling your mat and having a seat is the first step for many people toward healing. Some of us aren't even sure what we are seeking yet!
Yes, there are many styles and teachings of yoga. Will some people say a certain way of practicing is "wrong?" Yes, I have seen some people claiming certain styles of yoga to not be "true yoga." But in my experience with my own practice.... I do what works for me. Like I said before, everyone's practice is there own. And this practice changes and evolves to fit our lives and our needs. For me, I need a very physical practice in order to quiet my mind and find space. I have struggled with spirituality my whole life and finding it in my practice has been very interesting for me. Over the years, my connection to my breath has grown, I find peace and calmness just by closing my eyes, breathing and moving from posture to posture. My mat truly has become a sanctuary for me. And that is something we all seek in our practice. That place of connection, light, love and peace.
I recently spoke with another fitness instructor about how much yoga has evolved into all kinds of hybrid styles.. incorporating more aspects of other sports or physical activities into classes. People are also coming up with different classes like glow yoga, beer/wine yoga, aerial yoga, silent yoga, etc. leaving a lot of yogis up in arms expressing this is not yoga. In my humble opinion, whatever gets people to try yoga, AWESOME!
Like I said before, yoga is different to each student. We all have our own individualized yoga practice even if we do not have a home practice but instead attend group classes. We may be doing the same sequence as 20 other people but I guarantee the experience is different.
Long story short, make yoga your own. Try different styles, different teachers and explore this amazing practice. Don't avoid a certain yoga practice just because someone else feels it isn't "correct." You are your person, find the path that works for you and enjoy the journey. <3
This past week the kids and I were given the opportunity to participate in a real life photo/video shoot! I'm talking, rented location, legit video/photo people, stylists, hair and make up and food!
The idea behind our part was a "real life" mom practicing yoga with her children (furry one too!) Obviously they did not want very many quiet or zen shots if they wanted my minis involved! haha
We had such a great time! The first question was, "what to do with Little Man's hair?" We tried a "mini man bun" which started to come out because... he never sits still! <3 In the end we just let it do its thing, of course I loved that. Mini Me got some curls and a super fun braid and I actually had my hair and make up done! I think the last time that happened was our wedding ten years ago!
Our first "scene" was outside on this gorgeous deck space. We "flowed," we fell, we laughed, we went upside-down, we stretched and had so much fun.
The next "scene" was inside with an "active play" idea. Little Man was supposed to play with blocks, but he is two and had other ideas. So if you can catch the bowl of popcorn behind the blocks you win ten points.
We also did a mommy solo practice set to give the kids a break. I was actually able to zone out and do my own thing! Which means, I have no idea if they got what they needed... oops
All in all it was a super fun experience and I cannot wait to see the finished project. If it is good then I will share it with you... ha!
Big props to those real models out there... I was exhausted at the end of the day!!!
Less Presents for You!
We had the surprise of our lives seven years ago. I was sick, crying over dirty dishes and too tired to move. A wonderful woman in my office at the time suggested I stop by the store on the way home and get a pregnancy test.
A WHAT!!!??? Yea, she said it. And I freaked out.
Hubs and I were married about a year, we just moved back to FL and started new jobs, there was no baby talk whatsoever!
Anyway, our beautiful baby girl arrived that summer and we fell in love.
Fast-forward to the following summers and the birthday parties and presents. Lots and lots of presents. She never wanted for anything! We were so blessed to have friends and family that loved her and thought to get her anything and everything.
Now as a parent to a young child, this was fantastic because of course, my baby girl deserves everything! But as my baby girl got older, she started to expect everything and appreciate less. I began to see this in the passed year or so... her room is FILLED with toys, art supplies, games, doll houses, books, etc and yet she never really took care of anything or wanted to play with her things.
I soon realized I was a guilty member of the party. I wanted to buy her everything for birthdays and Christmas and did! Mostly little things, nothing too extravagant. She has always been very grateful for what she receives but will soon shove it in a corner or leave it behind the car and oops! Someone runs it over...
She is a kid and this is not uncommon behavior I get it. But I started to think of a more minimalistic approach for her upcoming birthday.
I was only buying her one present.
Call me mean mom but I loved the idea. She would get one thing that she needed and anything else would be "experiences."
On the day of her birthday she woke up with her balloons like she does every year and ran downstairs to see her presents. She only had two. Her first present was Star Wars decor for her new room from Nana and Papa and the other was a Renaissance Adventure Camp from Papaw and Gigi. She was ecstatic.
Then it was off to get her our present, a new bike. Call me what you want but we went to Play it Again Sports and she picked out a $35 pink and blue Schwinn and loves it! Then off to lunch at a place of her choosing and a stop by the candy shop next door (now you see her train of thought on picking the lunch restaurant!) Next was testing out the new bike with neighborhood friends and having a water fight. I had to call her inside to take a shower, she was not happy! But then I explained we were going to the Boulder Dinner Theatre to see Mary Poppins... in the shower in five seconds. haha We had a fantastic dinner and the show was amazing.
She told me numerous times it was the best birthday ever. Of course initially I felt guilty for not having a big party, but she beamed ear to ear that day.
Saturday was a small gathering at the park with her friends. No frills, no thrills, not even decorations. I did get cupcakes, snacks and drinks because I am not evil!!! She had a great time, totally survived the tiny birthday celebration.
This new outlook is here to stay. I love the idea of spending more energy and money on time and experiences then just stuff. As a mom, I was less stressed and able to actually enjoy her birthday... to sit back and look at my baby girl, see what a beautiful soul she is and how lucky I am to be her mother. I was able to stop and be grateful for our moments together.
Happy Birthday to my amazing, imaginative, beautiful, giving, kind, smart, funny, creative and amazing baby girl. ♥
What Am I Doing?
Here I am, at 31 years old and still struggling with what I am supposed to do.
I feel most of my life has been on auto-pilot and I have been going "through the motions" to get to the next stage. I did what I was "supposed" to do... I graduated high school, went to college, got married and had a couple kids.
But I want more.
I want to be more than a wife and mother (although I hold those roles dearly and am so grateful.) I want to do more with my life (enter mom guilt here.) I want to be part of something that changes people for the better.
Lucky for me, I found yoga. Wow, what a life changer! Now I see what I am supposed to do for others. Teaching fills my heart with love and joy. Yoga has done amazing things for me, my relationships and my outlook on life. I am filled with more love, gratitude, forgiveness and acceptance. I love spreading the joys of what yoga can bring.
But I am now at a crossroads. How can I pursue my passion of teaching and still provide for my family. Lets face it, yoga isn't a money maker and that is okay. I have been blessed with being able to stay home and raise my kids but I have this guilt of not helping financially. Many times have I thought of going back into the work force but to be honest, the idea of being in an office is suffocating and not rewarding. Selfish? Maybe.
I want to help others. I want to help others live better, fuller lives and I know it involves yoga and more.
Since my move to Colorado I have been so very lucky with many opportunities to teach yoga. I have been working very hard to grow these opportunities. But financially it is still not working. I have been discouraged and second guessing my choices.
Each day I wake up hoping that big opportunity will happen, when everything falls into place and fits. But wait... sitting around waiting? What about going out and getting?
So that is where I am at now. Trying to take more initiative and make this work. Luckily, I know the Universe is conspiring for me.
"If there is a desire inside you, if you really want something, it is because it originated in the soul of the universe. It is your mission on earth." Paulo Coelho
Done. I will keep on keeping on because I believe this is the path for me. I will continue to put my desire and energy out into the Universe and know it will somehow workout, because this is what I am supposed to do. ♥
Shorts... such a debacle.
It was my birthday last week and the weather didn't cooperate for a hike and the hubby was sick.. sooo Mini Me and I did a girls day at the mall. I don't do a lot of clothes shopping, mainly yoga clothes and that only requires a couple of clicks on the computer. :)
Well we had a really great day together. I grabbed some Star Wars mugs which make my mornings a little more special :) and Mini got some accessories for her Build a Bear friends. On the way out I saw a store that was totally my style (if I have one anymore!) We stopped in, I loved everything in the store and tried on a few things.
I grabbed a pair of shorts, put them on and the conflicting thoughts began.... Were they cute? Yes. Did I like them? Yes. Then Mini said she liked them and I immediately thought they were too short. I am a mother and actually turning another year older today, I should not be wearing short shorts.
Then my inner Goddess started screaming you are beautiful! Wear them! Run around in a big field filled with flowers and feel amazing about yourself!
Once I left the big, flowery field and came back to the dressing room, I stepped out to look in the bigger mirror. The salesperson commented the shorts looked fantastic, I immediately thought, "well it is your job to say that!" Yikes.
To skip over the added conflicting thoughts I had as I stood in the dressing room... I did buy the shorts.
I am fully aware of my role as a mother. I am fully aware of the influence I have on my children and my obligation to them. But I am also a woman, with another identity that is not a mother. It is very easy to forget this. Mothers give everything to their family and often lose themselves. I chose to hold on to the remaining parts of me as tightly as possible.
I will wear my shorty shorts and feel beautiful in them! Maybe not to the park or a play date, but we have some amazing festivals in Colorado and I plan to shed mommy-mode for just a minute. Guilt free. <3
Here we are, day six of this insanely unpleasant stomach bug tromping through our house. It starting with Little Man, he has barely kept any food down for the last week, but still smiles at me when he can. We have watched more movies this past week than we have in the past three months combined. Did I feel very guilty about that? You betcha! But all my Little Man could do was lie there. So that is what we did (with a few breaks to throw up.)
Meanwhile, Dad comes along and decides he wants to have 'bro time' and get sick too. Thankfully he can aim himself into a bucket. Now I have two sick boys and loads of fun for me!
Mini me also had a dentist appointment Wednesday.. she had to have a tooth pulled!! Yea, my six year old decided she didn't feel like brushing her teeth anymore and completely lied to us about it... for a while! Hello major cavity! We told her she will be working off her allowance until she is eight to pay for the bill. haha
But my little trooper got her tooth pulled, did fantastic and still loves the dentist. HA! But as soon as we walked out of the office, her belly hurt. We sat in the bathroom for a good 30 minutes until she felt she could get in the car. So we did. And she puked.... Sometimes you really have to take a step back and find the hilarity in that!! I usually cannot do so until everything is cleaned up.
Made it home, and Mini's day got worse. Her being the beautifully dramatic person that she is, got the worst of the bug. We stayed up most of the night, I felt so bad for her.
Today is a new day. No one has thrown up yet and the Hubs is off to work. I have about 489,726 loads of laundry to do today after the 745, 635 loads I did yesterday. Fun!!!! But I am still healthy and keeping fingers crossed that I some how manage to escape. Moms don't get sick days.
Hope you guys were able to avoid this little gem of a stomach bug in your house ♥ We are welcoming the warm weather on its way!!!
We will all die.
I am not predicting an asteroid or apocalypse event, although those would get much more attention! I am simply stating that as human beings and living souls on this planet, we will one day die. It is a fact of life and one that many people do not want to think about. But what if more people brought more awareness of their death to their lives? What if we all lived each day like it was our last?
I would like to be able to view death as a part of life and not as a scary, unmentionable, horrible thing to discuss. Yes, the idea of losing someone you love and care for is a heartbreaking and painful thing to go through, but I want to be able to think of my own death as a reminder that things change. I want to be comfortable with my own death so that I may live. Living each day knowing it may be your last certainly changes a few of your thoughts and perspectives. Viewing your life in such a big picture allows you to set the priorities of what you want to achieve and what is actually important. I want to be aware of my death, so I don't take life for granted.
We are all going to die, so don't spend your time with superficial matters and materialism. There is no happiness or comfort in the attachment to material things. Contentment is key, it brings happiness. Find contentment in your spirituality, crave more of it. You will find much more happiness in deepening your life than time spent on Facebook, gossiping or buying a new item to be stored away with the rest. Again, view the big picture, don't get distracted by the minor things and waste an opportunity to live a meaningful life.
If you feel money, power, friends and stuff will bring you happiness, ask yourself if stressing over these superficial things will really matter in the end. As you have probably heard before, a rich man will still die no matter how much money he has.
I cannot sit here and say I don't want a new pair of yoga pants because I do! I also wouldn't mind some ski gear so we can start skiing regularly. Of course, this list can go on and on but I am making a conscience effort to take a step back and think if a new pair of yoga pants will deepen the quality of my life, help me to serve others and make a difference. I tend to find myself justifying in a way that new pants would make me a happier person so I can therefore bring happiness to others. HA! Nice try Michelle.
Anyway, it is a long road ahead.
There is an old Indian saying, "A tomorrow when you are gone is undoubtedly coming." So with that thought, my perspective on life has changed. I want to focus less on the superficial layers and really get into the deep, meaningful stuff!
Happy Living! ♥
Geez, Motherhood is no joke. Especially as they get older... and mine are still young! HAHA Well we try to do it all for our family, be everything for them, give them the best opportunities, never falter in showing your love, protect them, guide them, laugh with them, the list goes on forever. Well I have discovered that I cannot do it all. I cannot be there 100% each and everyday. There are some days when I am struggling with my own thoughts and give in to the stress, which leaves my babies without a fully present mother.
The struggle to be the best mother possible occurs daily and the guilt for not giving them the best is very present.
My most recent struggle is homeschooling my daughter. It is not working out. Like everything, some things work well and other aspects do not. She is a beautifully creative, energetic, dramatic and full of life litte soul. She marches to the beat of her own drum and I love that about her. Homeschooling allows her to flourish in her creative side and doesn't force her to attempt to learn in a way that is difficult for her.
But I am failing her as a homeschooling mom.
There are many reasons and excuses I could name that are keeping me from giving her my all. I had such high hopes and so many ideas of what we were going to do and how fantastic it was going to be.... Life is funny and rarely works out the way you planned. I see other homeschool moms who juggle so much and are still able to give there child/children amazing educational opportunities. I have to remember that viewing others lives on social media is basically BS.. lol No one really gives the whole truth on there!
But still, the mom guilt is there. I especially feel guilty about teaching yoga. Is it wrong of me to not give my family my all because I enjoy something else and have become very passionate about it? I am sure many working moms go through this and I am not the first or the last. But it really sucks and I would prefer if we could just do it all! hehe
Next year Mini will be off to school, she wasn't excited at first but is now. I am learning to accept I was unable to be the HS mom I thought I should be and accept what is. I know my kids know mama loves them. I know I am only human and can only do so much. This learning to balance life while wearing the many hats we mothers wear is a daily challenge. So why not support each other, without judgement. Let each other know when you are struggling and ask for help. We are all doing the best we can, which is all that can be asked of us.
Love you all,
A YogaMama's Practice
Find your Yoga wherever you can. We all live very busy, different lives but take the time to carve out what you can. Practicing with my minis might not be very peaceful, but we are learning so much together. Love yourself, Love your Yoga, Love Life. ♥
There has been a lot of talk about "Instagram Yogis" and whether or not posting pictures of your Yoga practice on social media is what a "true" Yogi should be doing. Well, I am an Instagram Yogini and enjoy sharing my practice, seeing my own journey, inspiring others, being inspired by others and connecting with amazing Yogis. No matter your opinion regarding IG Yogis, you have to admit you have been inspired by some of these Yogis. Maybe by an asana they posted, a meditation they shared, a spiritual quote or book that resonated with you, or maybe they shared some of the road blocks in their lives and how they are working through it.
Meet Krista, also known as @thesingingyogini. I found her IG account when I first moved to CO and was connecting with local Yogis. Her account caught my attention. She has a very strong Yoga practice, an awesome handstand practice (which totally inspired me) and an awesome attitude. Another thing that caught my attention was when she mentioned she lives with Ankylosing Spondylitis or AS but also mentioned to "just keep swimming." I thought this was a fantastic outlook. Although I wasn't sure what symptoms she faced or how they affected her daily life/Yoga practice, I knew from other posts she suffered severe joint and arthritis issues and it was a daily struggle.
As the months went by and we shared our love of inversions and Yoga with a few more IG posts, Krista shared she had a breakthrough with a seven minuted headstand... SAY WHAT!! No seriously, holy moly! So stoked for her, amazed and inspired!
Then soon after, she posted about her failing health. She suffered two strokes, one at home and another while in the hospital. She had a tear in her carotid artery which they believed caused the strokes. She was told no more activity, no more yoga and no more inversions. My heart broke for her. Yoga has been everything to me in so many ways and a huge part of my life. I could not imagine going through what she did, and then having someone tell me my practice was done. During this time, Krista tried to focus on the positive and look to the other parts of Yoga, which, as she said, is so much more than just the asana and inversions. This hit home to me and was a great reminder of what Yoga is all about.
I was able to meet up with Krista and talk more about what she has gone through and how Yoga has helped her. When she was 12 she was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis and was prescribed medication, which did not help. She chose to no longer take the medication and tried to put the whole diagnosis aside. She then grew up learning to live with the pain and how to still have an active life. At 20, she dislocated her knee during Martial Arts and needed surgery. It wasn't until the surgeon very harshly reminded her of her condition, stating the severe arthritis and damages her knee joints had suffered.
This was an eye opener of the issue she could no longer hide from. In 2007, she suffered kidney failure, then in 2011 she underwent G.I. surgery and in 2013 she had surgery on her shoulder due to fusing. All of these brought on by stress and personal heartbreaks she experienced over the years including pursuing a Master's Degree, a divorce, and the death of a close family member. While Krista told me her story, my mind was racing... How can someone go through all of this? Would I be strong enough to endure everything? Wow, my problems are small!!
I was also amazed at how matter of fact she was. She was not looking for sympathy or pity, she is so strong. At only 36 years old she has lived through so much I cannot even fathom what I would do in her situation. Even now, as she is on the road to recovery from her recent strokes, she is learning to live with Aphasia. When a person has a stroke, it leaves scarring on the brain. Aphasia affects a person's language skills where they often have trouble finding words or lose the ability to speak, read or write, but it does not affect intelligence. Krista is learning what triggers the Aphasia and how to live with it. I could tell a couple of times when she was trying to explain something, she was relieved when I understood exactly what she meant. The frustration in knowing what you are trying to say but unable to say it is terrible, but again she is moving forward.
We started talking about her Yoga practice. About 15 years ago, she found a small, unglamorous space where she learned Ashtanga. She practiced on and off over the years but always came back to Yoga. Now, her practice had become a way she can find some control. She is faced with so many uncertain, uncontrollable circumstances on a daily basis, but she knows that once she rolls out her mat she is in control. Her practice is her own. She can make the choice to practice meditation, pranayama, or asana. Her Yoga also gives her a sense of self-esteem, not in the vein, "Look at what I can do!" but in the reminder to herself that she can finder to Yoga anytime, anywhere. She mentioned while in the hospital she practiced her breathing and meditation and the comfort it gave her, like a "teddy bear," a wonderful way to sooth the self.
Krista is a beautiful and strong soul who offers so much inspiration as a person and a Yogi. Her community at CorePower Yoga in South Denver has mentioned her getting her Certification and sharing her practice with others. She is not against the idea of becoming a certified Yoga Instructor and would love to offer workshops and classes to those suffering injuries... and hopefully inversions!
The road may not be a smooth one ahead for Krista, her doctors are concerned about her hip joints and are recommending surgery. But even with all this, Krista will certainly keep on swimming. ♥
You can connect with Krista and follow her journey on her website KristaHinman.com or on Instagram @thesingingyogini. Krista was also excited to share the Yoga legging brand K.Deer is donating a portion of their proceeds of the popular "Jodi Stripe" legging to The Adler Aphasia Center. This group advocates awareness of Aphasia through education initiatives and also supports research programs.
The Yoga Community is such a beautiful family, I am so grateful to have connected with Krista and hope I am able to send lots of love and support.