What Am I Doing?

Here I am, at 31 years old and still struggling with what I am supposed to do.

I feel most of my life has been on auto-pilot and I have been going "through the motions" to get to the next stage. I did what I was "supposed" to do... I graduated high school, went to college, got married and had a couple kids.

But I want more.

I want to be more than a wife and mother (although I hold those roles dearly and am so grateful.) I want to do more with my life (enter mom guilt here.) I want to be part of something that changes people for the better.

Lucky for me, I found yoga. Wow, what a life changer! Now I see what I am supposed to do for others. Teaching fills my heart with love and joy. Yoga has done amazing things for me, my relationships and my outlook on life. I am filled with more love, gratitude, forgiveness and acceptance. I love spreading the joys of what yoga can bring.

But I am now at a crossroads. How can I pursue my passion of teaching and still provide for my family. Lets face it, yoga isn't a money maker and that is okay. I have been blessed with being able to stay home and raise my kids but I have this guilt of not helping financially. Many times have I thought of going back into the work force but to be honest, the idea of being in an office is suffocating and not rewarding. Selfish? Maybe.

I want to help others. I want to help others live better, fuller lives and I know it involves yoga and more.

Since my move to Colorado I have been so very lucky with many opportunities to teach yoga. I have been working very hard to grow these opportunities. But financially it is still not working. I have been discouraged and second guessing my choices.

Each day I wake up hoping that big opportunity will happen, when everything falls into place and fits. But wait... sitting around waiting? What about going out and getting?

So that is where I am at now. Trying to take more initiative and make this work. Luckily, I know the Universe is conspiring for me.

"If there is a desire inside you, if you really want something, it is because it originated in the soul of the universe. It is your mission on earth." Paulo Coelho

Done. I will keep on keeping on because I believe this is the path for me. I will continue to put my desire and energy out into the Universe and know it will somehow workout, because this is what I am supposed to do. ♥