Geez, Motherhood is no joke. Especially as they get older... and mine are still young! HAHA Well we try to do it all for our family, be everything for them, give them the best opportunities, never falter in showing your love, protect them, guide them, laugh with them, the list goes on forever. Well I have discovered that I cannot do it all. I cannot be there 100% each and everyday. There are some days when I am struggling with my own thoughts and give in to the stress, which leaves my babies without a fully present mother.
The struggle to be the best mother possible occurs daily and the guilt for not giving them the best is very present.
My most recent struggle is homeschooling my daughter. It is not working out. Like everything, some things work well and other aspects do not. She is a beautifully creative, energetic, dramatic and full of life litte soul. She marches to the beat of her own drum and I love that about her. Homeschooling allows her to flourish in her creative side and doesn't force her to attempt to learn in a way that is difficult for her.
But I am failing her as a homeschooling mom.
There are many reasons and excuses I could name that are keeping me from giving her my all. I had such high hopes and so many ideas of what we were going to do and how fantastic it was going to be.... Life is funny and rarely works out the way you planned. I see other homeschool moms who juggle so much and are still able to give there child/children amazing educational opportunities. I have to remember that viewing others lives on social media is basically BS.. lol No one really gives the whole truth on there!
But still, the mom guilt is there. I especially feel guilty about teaching yoga. Is it wrong of me to not give my family my all because I enjoy something else and have become very passionate about it? I am sure many working moms go through this and I am not the first or the last. But it really sucks and I would prefer if we could just do it all! hehe
Next year Mini will be off to school, she wasn't excited at first but is now. I am learning to accept I was unable to be the HS mom I thought I should be and accept what is. I know my kids know mama loves them. I know I am only human and can only do so much. This learning to balance life while wearing the many hats we mothers wear is a daily challenge. So why not support each other, without judgement. Let each other know when you are struggling and ask for help. We are all doing the best we can, which is all that can be asked of us.
Love you all,